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  “Good morning!” I fairly sang as I met Michael at the car.

  He was grinning and looking at me with undisguised admiration. He whistled low.

  “Wow.”

  I stifled the urge to laugh and twirl around to further show off. “Is ‘wow’ good?” I questioned teasingly.

  “Wow is… very good.”

  “Well, I do try to dress decently every once in a while.”

  “It’s not the dress—not totally, anyway. It’s you. You look—” he paused and scrutinized me. “All lit up, kind of.” He helped me into the car, and his eyes were still warm when he climbed into his seat.

  “I do like the dress, too,” he added.

  I laughed. “Thanks. It’s a beautiful day and… I’m happy.” It was true, I realized as I said it.

  Michael smiled at me so brilliantly that I felt my heart leap into my throat before it broke into an unsteady rhythm.

  “I’m very glad that you’re happy. I’m happy, too.” He glanced at me slyly as we turned the corner. “The park should be nice today.”

  “Where exactly is Lancer Park?” I asked. “My dad seemed to know what I was talking about when I told him where we were going. I know you said it was right outside town.”

  “Yup, right on the Lancer Lake,” Michael answered.

  “The lake? Where the alligators and the aggressive water moccasins live?” I wasn’t going to let a little thing like death-threatening creatures spoil my good mood, but it was wise to be prepared.

  “I promise, no harm will befall you. People go to this lake every day, Tas. No one has ever been attacked by wildlife. At least no one in my lifetime…” He raised his eyebrows and looked at me meaningfully.

  “Thanks,” I said. “But guess what? I am not going to think about that. I am in much too good a mood to think about creatures who are waiting to eat me at the park.”

  “Water moccasins don’t eat you. They just bite you.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “Whatever. Not thinking about it. Not thinking about Nell either. Only happy thoughts today!”

  We pulled into the parking lot, and as we walked toward the school, Michael looked thoughtful. “How about we eat outside today?”

  “Really? Outside in the heat?”

  “It’s not that hot today, and hardly humid at all. And that way we can talk in private without having to be social with everyone else.”

  I frowned slightly. “I thought we were going to the lake to talk privately.”

  “We are. But at the lake, I want to hear about you. I was thinking that in order for you to be honest with me, I need to explain some stuff about me. I told you yesterday that there’s more we need to talk about. So that’s the agenda for lunch today.” He looked determined, and for the first time, my happy mood faltered a bit.

  “Is this stuff you’re going to explain good or bad?” I asked cautiously.

  He smiled at me, assuring. “I think it’s good, but you’ll have to be the judge of that, after you hear it. It’s nothing that big, just me getting some things out there that I think you need to know. Okay?”

  I took a deep breath. “Okay. So we’re eating outside. Sounds like a plan.”

  “I’ll go ahead and get a table, since I always get to lunch before you. Oh, and don’t worry about getting any food, I’ll get your lunch along with mine.”

  “Meaning there’ll be enough for a small army?”

  He assumed an innocent face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I think I floated through that morning. French was a pleasure, one of those classes where it seemed I could do nothing wrong. I translated a passage from our book, reading it aloud, and the teacher actually complimented me on my accent. She passed back homework we had turned in the day before, and I had earned a perfect grade. It was gratifying to feel that I was finding my rhythm in a few classes, at least.

  And then on my way to Chem, one of the girls from the lunch table, Anne, called my name and greeted me with a warm smile.

  “I love your dress! It’s so pretty. I could never wear it, but it looks wonderful on you.” Anne was several inches shorter than I was and curvy in all the right places.

  “Thank you,” I replied, sincerely flattered by her words.

  “See you at lunch today?” she asked.

  I hesitated. “I think—Michael said something about eating outside today.”

  She smiled knowingly at me. “He wants you all to himself and doesn’t want to share! Well, I guess we’ll let him go for today, but you make sure he doesn’t hog you all the time. I enjoyed talking with you yesterday.”

  More happy warmth spread through me. “I enjoyed it, too,” I told Anne. “I’m sure I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow.”

  “Okay!” She slipped past me with a quick wave and smile as I continued on to class.

  I was so far into my happy place that I didn’t even spare Nell and company a glance when I entered the chemistry classroom. I put my books down on the table and then walked to the front of the room to hand in my missed lab assignment worksheet. Ms. Lacusta took it absently from my hand; she seemed absorbed in something else on her desk, and I was happy to slip away without more interaction.

  When I returned to my seat, though, my books were no longer piled neatly on the table; they were spread open and face down all over the floor in the aisle. I hadn’t heard a sound, so I assumed the three girls had worked together to quietly and quickly displace them.

  Immediately I gathered the books and put them back on the table, taking my seat. Nell was turned sideways in her own chair, and in striking contrast to the previous days, she was staring insolently at me.

  “All dressed up today, aren’t we?” she mused. “What’s the occasion?”

  I was determined to keep things as peaceful as I could, and I answered her coolly but calmly.

  “Nothing special. Just a pretty day. Oh, and I saw on the schedule that there’s no lab today, so I decided I was safe from having chemicals thrown at me.”

  Nell rolled her eyes. “Oh, isn’t she dramatic!” she exclaimed, addressing Liza and Casey. She turned back to me. “No one threw anything at you. Your own clumsiness is what got you wet. Isn’t that what you told Ms. Lacusta? And if you had just taken my advice and dropped this class, maybe even that wouldn’t have happened.”

  A day earlier, Nell’s words would have crushed me or at least angered me beyond the ability to reply, but in my current near-euphoric state of mind, I found I was able to respond.

  “We all know what happened here, Nell. You can think whatever you like, but the next time you want to get nasty during a lab, I’m taking you down with me. Literally.”

  Nell’s eyes flared at me, and she opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment, Ms. Lacusta began lecturing. With one final glare, she turned around. The atmosphere around us was tense, and I could feel the antipathy pouring off Nell.

  Actually, I was amazed at myself. I had no idea where those words had come from. I never stood up to anybody. For that matter, I had never been in a position where I needed to stand up to anybody. But somehow the words had come, and it dawned on me that I had just threatened a girl who seemed to be a fairly powerful force in my new school’s social system.

  And she wasn’t going to let it go. From the bits of loathsome feeling and waves of hate I was picking up, I knew that Nell was not one of those bullies who would back down when someone stood up to her. No, she was more like a black widow spider that would strike with deadly accuracy when I least expected it. I was going to have to watch my back.

  I hurried my way to lunch and flew through the cafeteria doors, slipped past the people waiting in line and straight across to the second set of doors leading outside. I blinked in the bright sunshine and spotted Michael just setting two trays an empty table.

  “Hey!” I greeted him. And then stared at the food on the table. “I thought it was going to be just us for lunch today.”

  He looked at me in surprise.
“It is. Why?”

  “You cannot seriously imagine that the two of us are going to eat all of that. I could sit here for hours and not make a dent in it.”

  He rolled his eyes at me. “You underestimate my appetite. And you have to eat up, because…” he dropped his voice and leered at me. “The gators at Lancer Park are expecting a good meal this afternoon. I’d hate to disappoint them.”

  I just looked at him, evenly. “Oh, funny. You know, you probably don’t want to mess with me today. I stood up to Nell in Chemistry, and I am feeling pretty invincible.”

  Michael feigned shock. “Really? Is she still giving you trouble?”

  “I think she’ll leave me alone just long enough to think of something horrible to do. But I don’t want to talk about Nell.” I settled myself into my bench seat. “I’m here to listen to you, remember? All mysteries solved and so on?”

  He laughed, and I glowed inside. “I don’t know about all mysteries. Here, eat some of this hamburger.” He pushed a plate with the sandwich and a stack of fries on it toward me.

  “Okay, okay, I’m eating.” I took a bite of the burger and was surprised how good it tasted.

  “So…” Michael fidgeted with the silverware on the tray and scowled at it. It dawned on me that he was stalling… he was nervous. Again I felt such an overwhelming tenderness toward him that my heart seemed to swell.

  “You know, you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to,” I said, swallowing another bite of hamburger.

  “It’s not that. I’m just trying to decide how to start.”

  “Why don’t you begin with my biggest question: why me? Why do you care about what I think or do or how I’m adjusting here, or if I need a ride to school? I’m not saying that I don’t like it,” I hastened to add. “I’m just not used to it. You—you look after me. It seems like you really do—care.”

  “I do,” he vowed, his eyes intensely serious. “I guess that’s the biggest thing I want you to believe. I know this is very fast and very sudden to you, but to me—” he took a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve been waiting for you all my life.”

  My heart pounded and I couldn’t answer.

  “When I saw you that first day in the hall, with Nell going at you, I couldn’t believe it. I just looked at you and I knew. I don’t know how I managed to make any kind of sense to you or Nell, because it felt like all the words were jumbled around in my head. I would have stood up for anyone Nell was picking on, but when I saw it was you—it was like…” He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. “Like finding what I didn’t even know I’d been looking for. And I was so rattled that I couldn’t even figure out what I was saying.”

  “You were nervous?” I was incredulous. “I wouldn’t have guessed. You just seemed so sure of yourself.”

  “I guess I’m a good actor,” he laughed. “I was glad I thought to mention lunch, because then I knew I’d see you again. All I wanted to do was talk with you alone, get to know you, but I didn’t want to scare you off. I thought eating with my friends would make it easier on us both, but that whole time, I just wanted them all to leave us alone. I was kicking myself afterward, wishing I’d managed to talk to you by myself a little more.

  “And then I saw you in the parking lot that afternoon. I had been looking for you, but I had to get to work. When you looked up at me, before I even called you…” Michael took another deep breath. “I knew, for sure.”

  What he was saying was heady stuff, but I needed some clarification. “You said that before—that you knew. What did you know, exactly?”

  Michael set down the cookie he’d been eating. “This is what I’ve been… uncertain about saying. I don’t know what you’re going to think.”

  This time it was my turn to say it. “You can trust me, Michael. Whatever you tell me, it’s not going to change what I—think of you.” I had been about to say, what I felt for him, but at the last minute I lost my nerve. It was the first time that I was in the position to assure him that it was safe to open up to me; up until now it had been the other way around.

  He looked at me steadily, holding my eyes with his in that devastating way he had. My whole body was instantly tingling, electrified.

  “I knew… that you are the girl I’ve been waiting for, since I became old enough to realize I was waiting. I’ve liked other girls, as friends. I’ve even thought some of them were pretty. But you—ahhhh.” He exhaled in frustration.“I can’t explain it the right way. I’m eighteen, or just about, so it’s going to come off like I’m some kind of nut, or like I’m just giving you a line. If I were saying this ten years from now, it might seem reasonable. But right now, it sounds like a page from a bad romance novel.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Not that I’ve ever read a bad romance novel. Or any romance novel at all.”

  “Of course not,” I murmured.

  “When I saw you that first day-was it only three days ago? When I saw you then, you took my breath away. You—you’re so beautiful. And when I got to talk to you, I knew right away you were just as gorgeous on the inside, too. The real you, I mean. Who you are.”

  I couldn’t reply, mostly because I had stopped breathing and my throat had closed. I was mortified to realize that tears were lurking at the back of my eyes. Michael’s words and the obviously deep feeling behind them stunned me.

  “So… are you completely freaked out? Ready to take out a restraining order?” His words were light, but his eyes were worried.

  I shook my head slowly, and I found somehow I could breathe again. “No, that never crossed my mind.” My thoughts were swirling, not making sense, and it was growing harder to keep Michael tuned out. I could feel his nervousness and his fear, but even stronger than that was his ringing sincerity. And then bits and pieces of real thoughts began to fly out at me. This is it, what she thinks and how she reacts, that’s all the matters. What if she doesn’t really… what if she can’t feel the same way or if she’s spooked by what I’m saying… I don’t know what I’ll do.

  I closed my eyes abruptly and turned my head away, concentrating hard on not listening. After he had essentially bared his soul to me out loud, it seemed a petty intrusion to hear his thoughts.

  At the same time, I knew I had to reassure him. Keeping my eyes closed, I murmured, “I’m sorry. When things get—intense, like this, it’s harder for me to respect the privacy of others. I’m just working on not hearing.”

  My eyes flew open when I felt his hand against my face. His fingers firmly cupped my jaw and his thumb brushed one eyelid gently. “Don’t,” he said softly. “Don’t shut me out. I promise, there’s nothing I’m thinking that I don’t want you to know.”

  Another first. Never in my life had anyone offered me an open pass to his mind. I expended so much energy and attention keeping up my mental wall that the idea of letting it down was a little daunting, even while it was freeing.

  “Thank you,” I whispered. “You don’t know how much that means to me. But I won’t abuse your trust.”

  “I know,” he smiled. “That’s part of the whole you being gorgeous on the inside, too. I have faith that even if you did hear something you weren’t meant to, you wouldn’t use it against me.”

  I sighed. “That’s the one flaw in your line of reasoning. I don’t think you’re a stalker, I don’t think you’re just handing me a typical guy line. I believe that for some insane reason, you really do feel the way you just told me. But I still don’t get the why. I’m so not worth the trouble that comes as part of the package.”

  “Well, there you’re wrong,” he said with absolute certainty in his voice. “About the trouble and the worth, I mean. The bigger issue is whether or not I’m worthy of you. That’s my real doubt. And since I’m not a mind reader—” he smiled slightly, “—I have no way of knowing your feelings on that.”

  “You mean, unless I tell you.”

  He nodded. “I’m not trying to force you into some big confession of—anything. I wanted you to know whe
re I was coming from before we talked this afternoon. I have lots of questions for you, and I want you to feel comfortable with answering them, knowing how I feel about you.”

  I wasn’t sure I could handle giving him a reply yet. What had I expected him to tell me today? His actions and words all week had pointed to the fact that he was interested in me. That was as far as I had been willing to take this in my mind, afraid that even considering anything more would hurt when it didn’t materialize. But what he had told me was completely beyond my hopes. He had trusted me enough to open himself up to possible rejection or ridicule; although I was afraid I wore my feelings for him in plain sight, he seemed to be as unsure about me as I had been about him.

  I took a deep breath and took the plunge before I could think myself out of it. “I have no idea why you feel for me what you do, because I’m nothing special. I have a special gift, or talent or whatever you want to call it, but you didn’t even know that at first. I believe you, I believe all you told me today, but I still don’t understand the whys.

  “It’s incredible to me that you do—feel that way. It would be immensely flattering under any circumstances, but it’s more than that now. Because from what I’ve read or seen, this—” I pointed at Michael and then back at myself, “—rarely happens.” I swallowed hard before continuing, because tears were threatening again. The tender feelings rolling off Michael weren’t helping.

  “What I am trying to say, and not very well, is that—one of the reasons I believe you is because—it’s how I feel, too.” For the first time since I began speaking, I looked up from the table and into Michael’s eyes. They shone at me with such depth of trust that I was momentarily lost. I struggled to continue.

  “That first day, in the hall, I could hardly talk to you. But for me, that’s not unusual. I never talk to boys, and I don’t even have that many conversations with girls, either. When I saw you at lunch, I was grateful to you, but still pretty confused about why you bothered. And then after school that day, when you stopped me as I was leaving—it was like the sun broke across a gray sky.